1. Every weekend, get really dressed up, and have a "no pity-party"
Invite your friends to each bring over something very indulgent like Devil's chocolate fudge cake, your favorite wine or other beverage, seasonal fragrant flowers and exotic food while you discuss only the sure successes you all share
2. Help out people who are poorer than you are at least twice a week
This will not only help you to stop feeling so sorry for yourself as you help people who are suffering much more than you are, but you will be doing a great deed and service at the same time
3. Get rid of the clutter in your home and make it a serene palace.
You can do this on the cheap and you will feel richer. Donate anything that is taking up unnecessary room and reminds you of your problems; repaint rooms with calm, cool and vibrant colors; decorate with candles from the 99 cent store; hang breezy white curtains tied together from cheap muslin fabric; stack beautiful used art books on your coffee table and frame quotes by successful people on the wall
4. If you're unemployed, pretend as if you are going to work each day
Get dressed up in your finest work clothes, drink a cup of coffee outside somewhere beautiful and act as if you are on top of the world. If you start off each day and think that way it may just become a reality!
5. Listen to classical and jazz music while reading inspiring books
In other words turn off the television and stop focusing on the negative and irreverent, including the next bomb North Korea might release, as well as whom Kim Karsdashian might marry next and whether it will be for more than 72 days
6. Always look your best . . .
If you're a woman, wear makeup, curl or straighten your hair, put on some heels and a power-color fashion-forward dress. If you're a man, don't be sloppy . . . take a shower each day, shave, put on just a tad of cologne, iron your shirts and speak like a fine educated gentleman. A classy outer appearance will begin to make you feel a lot more confident and make you believe that you deserve to be the prosperous you want to be
7. Flirt a little with the opposite sex, or even with the same sex
Psychologists and mental health experts claim that people who are generally flirtatious have a higher degree of self-esteem self worth than people who don't, which in turn leads to both greater personal and financial success
8. Once a week, indulge in something that you don't think you can afford
That truly makes you feel happy and richer in every way. For example, buy some fresh shrimp or a cut of steak you think is no longer part of your lifestyle; start planning your dream vacation that "you know" you will be able to afford one day; find out where fancy parties are and make sure you're on the list; attend museums, art openings and free concerts and discuss fine art and music with other like-minded people; and by all means make sure to leave the house every day and be social!
9. Hang out in intelligent coffee shops and in gatherings
Where witty and cultured, successful people are-- hip places where it won't cost you more than a cup of coffee or your fine personality being enjoyed by others
10. Last but not least, Stop Complaining!
Smile, throw your head back and laugh while holding a glass of inexpensive champagne, tell jokes, quote comedians and pithy pundits and act as if you are already rich. You will never be successful if you do not begin acting as if you are!
Remember what Abraham Lincoln said, "People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be"
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Don't Name Flus After Us Jews
As a half-Jew, I have heard first, second and seventeenth that we are at times thought of as anxious, neurotic and compulsive about things Gentiles would never ever give a second thought.
Can you imagine Clint Eastwood worrying whether it's more important should his mother attend her local socialist club meeting she hasn't missed in 50 years or mend your lucky interview jacket?
I also can't imagine Eastwood seeing a psychoanalyst for decades like Woody Allen only to make comments like, "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
Last night, while watching "Annie Hall" for the 117th time in which Alvy Singer's life, played by Allen, revolves around his angst-ridden self-identity, I began to explore beyond cinema and television where else my Jewish peeps may have earned some of this reputation.
I recently read an article about Asperger's Syndrome, named after a mensch of a Jewish doctor, described as "people who show significant difficulties in social interaction, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests."
Not exactly the worst illness I've heard, but not one I'd name after myself either, which inspired me to ask the question, "How many other Jewish doctors have named afflictions after themselves?"
I recalled Schamberg's Disease and Crohn's Disease from a college course, neither one a pretty diagnoses. I won't scare you with the descriptions; google them if you must, but try not to convince yourself you have them as I did over the weekend.
For the file "You learn something new every day," when a disease is named after the person who first described the condition, this is known as an "eponymous" disease; which also includes publishing an article in a respected medical journal.
This certainly can't help, I thought. With the anti-Semitism I sometimes hear, I ask this instant that Jewish doctors think twice naming an illness after their surname, except if it is a good one -- disease that is.
For example, if intern Dr. Harvey Stein discovered a condition that described: "People who are born in Yugoslavia, particularly talented at playing the bassoon, and every eight days experience an episode of positive hyperactivity that may last up to 44.5 hours," this I could live with, calling it say, 'Stein's Syndrome.'
The epiphany came that perhaps eponymous diseases are the reason for much of the envy, animosity and even anti-Semitism around the world.
Metro Goldwyn Mayer and Matzo Ball Soup are okay companies and brands to be named after. The first brings to mind the Golden Age of Hollywood, and the other, well, an unbelievably delicious soup that cures the common cold. What's not to love?
This reminds me of a famous Milton Berle line when he said, "Every time a person goes into a deli and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies."
Paranoia has now set in. Perhaps Mr. and Mrs. Smith were okay with their Jewish neighbors until they learned their daughter had Asherman's Syndrome; described as "intrauterine adhesions presenting a condition characterized by the presence of adhesions or fibrosis within the uterine cavity due to scars." Not so appealing to the Smiths, is it?
Or maybe Johnny Martin wasn't allowed to play with his best friend anymore because the friend had Albright-Butler-Bloomberg disease, described as "severe developmental anomalies, marked by short-limbed dwarfism affecting the lower extremities and bowing of the lower enlarged wrists and ankles, and premature loss of permanent dentition."
And because little Johnny's mother thought he may catch it and he never had a good friend again, perhaps he has a negative reaction to Jewish names ever since. Seriously, it can't be helping us much.
Look, everyone knows we're smart as heck when it comes to medical science, politics, poetry, business, producing, science, kvetching and humor, but enough is enough. Haven't we proved our intellectual prowess by now?
Take my name, 'Safran'. If I were a doctor who discovered that people under the height of four feet who spoke fluent French and and had all dined with Rush Limbaugh in the year 1983 shared the same chromosome, I certainly wouldn't call it 'Safran-aphilodous' or 'Safran's Scare.'
I would call it 'Four-Foot Limbaugh's Plight' or 'Rushin' Roulette's Plague.'
How about naming ourselves after the finer things in life again; like wine, delicious foods, department stores and fabulous vacations instead?
For example, it would be great to go into a swell restaurant and order the chef's specialty of the house known as Goldman Prius shrimp, or a fine bottle of a 1996 Weinstein or Vintage Kaufman. Even Francis Ford Coppola, an Italian-American filmmaker got smart with his starting his own label. Sorry, Manischewitz doesn't count.
Or what about being invited on a famous Harold Klein Cruise or Birnbaum Retreat while getting a Shwartz facial?
My theory is simple, all med students with Berg, Stein, Traub or Ski ending their name take note; You'll get credit, I promise, but don't come crying to me if you get all eponymous on yourself and become known for your name making people in doctor's offices cry and curse you.
Could you blame them?
Let's help ourselves out a little.
I declare 2009 as the year of the end of Jewish-named diseases, and from now on, only positive discoveries.
Let's get back to the days of associations like The Marx Brothers, Albert Einstein, Itzhak Perlman and even Rodney Dangerfield who once said,
"My mother never breast fed me, she said she only liked me as a friend."
God Love him.
Originally Published in The Huffington Post
Can you imagine Clint Eastwood worrying whether it's more important should his mother attend her local socialist club meeting she hasn't missed in 50 years or mend your lucky interview jacket?
I also can't imagine Eastwood seeing a psychoanalyst for decades like Woody Allen only to make comments like, "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
Last night, while watching "Annie Hall" for the 117th time in which Alvy Singer's life, played by Allen, revolves around his angst-ridden self-identity, I began to explore beyond cinema and television where else my Jewish peeps may have earned some of this reputation.
I recently read an article about Asperger's Syndrome, named after a mensch of a Jewish doctor, described as "people who show significant difficulties in social interaction, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests."
Not exactly the worst illness I've heard, but not one I'd name after myself either, which inspired me to ask the question, "How many other Jewish doctors have named afflictions after themselves?"
I recalled Schamberg's Disease and Crohn's Disease from a college course, neither one a pretty diagnoses. I won't scare you with the descriptions; google them if you must, but try not to convince yourself you have them as I did over the weekend.
For the file "You learn something new every day," when a disease is named after the person who first described the condition, this is known as an "eponymous" disease; which also includes publishing an article in a respected medical journal.
This certainly can't help, I thought. With the anti-Semitism I sometimes hear, I ask this instant that Jewish doctors think twice naming an illness after their surname, except if it is a good one -- disease that is.
For example, if intern Dr. Harvey Stein discovered a condition that described: "People who are born in Yugoslavia, particularly talented at playing the bassoon, and every eight days experience an episode of positive hyperactivity that may last up to 44.5 hours," this I could live with, calling it say, 'Stein's Syndrome.'
The epiphany came that perhaps eponymous diseases are the reason for much of the envy, animosity and even anti-Semitism around the world.
Metro Goldwyn Mayer and Matzo Ball Soup are okay companies and brands to be named after. The first brings to mind the Golden Age of Hollywood, and the other, well, an unbelievably delicious soup that cures the common cold. What's not to love?
This reminds me of a famous Milton Berle line when he said, "Every time a person goes into a deli and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies."
Paranoia has now set in. Perhaps Mr. and Mrs. Smith were okay with their Jewish neighbors until they learned their daughter had Asherman's Syndrome; described as "intrauterine adhesions presenting a condition characterized by the presence of adhesions or fibrosis within the uterine cavity due to scars." Not so appealing to the Smiths, is it?
Or maybe Johnny Martin wasn't allowed to play with his best friend anymore because the friend had Albright-Butler-Bloomberg disease, described as "severe developmental anomalies, marked by short-limbed dwarfism affecting the lower extremities and bowing of the lower enlarged wrists and ankles, and premature loss of permanent dentition."
And because little Johnny's mother thought he may catch it and he never had a good friend again, perhaps he has a negative reaction to Jewish names ever since. Seriously, it can't be helping us much.
Look, everyone knows we're smart as heck when it comes to medical science, politics, poetry, business, producing, science, kvetching and humor, but enough is enough. Haven't we proved our intellectual prowess by now?
Take my name, 'Safran'. If I were a doctor who discovered that people under the height of four feet who spoke fluent French and and had all dined with Rush Limbaugh in the year 1983 shared the same chromosome, I certainly wouldn't call it 'Safran-aphilodous' or 'Safran's Scare.'
I would call it 'Four-Foot Limbaugh's Plight' or 'Rushin' Roulette's Plague.'
How about naming ourselves after the finer things in life again; like wine, delicious foods, department stores and fabulous vacations instead?
For example, it would be great to go into a swell restaurant and order the chef's specialty of the house known as Goldman Prius shrimp, or a fine bottle of a 1996 Weinstein or Vintage Kaufman. Even Francis Ford Coppola, an Italian-American filmmaker got smart with his starting his own label. Sorry, Manischewitz doesn't count.
Or what about being invited on a famous Harold Klein Cruise or Birnbaum Retreat while getting a Shwartz facial?
My theory is simple, all med students with Berg, Stein, Traub or Ski ending their name take note; You'll get credit, I promise, but don't come crying to me if you get all eponymous on yourself and become known for your name making people in doctor's offices cry and curse you.
Could you blame them?
Let's help ourselves out a little.
I declare 2009 as the year of the end of Jewish-named diseases, and from now on, only positive discoveries.
Let's get back to the days of associations like The Marx Brothers, Albert Einstein, Itzhak Perlman and even Rodney Dangerfield who once said,
"My mother never breast fed me, she said she only liked me as a friend."
God Love him.
Originally Published in The Huffington Post
Picasso and His Take on the Universe
“Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.” Pablo Picasso
Another Limbaugh "Slut and Prostitute" not on Welfare
Yes, Mr. Rush Limbaugh, I will admit publicly that I have engaged in the most immoral of human depravities by engaging in the practice of using contraception so that I would not bring an unwanted child into the world. But I must warn you however that I do not mind if you call me a "slut" or a "prostitute" as you did one female Georgetown University Law student.
Rather, as a woman who was married when I practiced such an ungodly and unforgiving act in your eyes, I am proud to say that I have only the two children that I carefully and methodically planned for, instead of the 25 more or so I might have had while married and had I not been on birth control. Let us just say that I have very fertile genes.
As most modern women, I consider it my responsibility" how I take on the role of my body as I also do my ethics and role as a human being who has the ability and gift to bring life into this world.
And as most women can attest to, the decision to have or not have children is not one that is taken lightly, but rather more likely with heavy emotional, religious, spiritual and financial philosophies and integral arguments attached that are continually debated within the frameworks of our families, culture, communities and society at large.
This may be just one of the most horridly hypocritical arguments and debacles I have ever witnessed as you-- Mr. Limbaugh-- are also thoroughly and immensely against helping aid families and women who can't afford to feed their children, and concurring with former House Speaker and Presidential Hopeless Newt Gingrich who repeatedly calls President Obama "the food stamp president."
Perhaps you would have been happier if I had not used contraception during my marriage, had given birth to ten children, and then proceeded to "go on the dole" . . . then you could happily scream across the airwaves that I am a low-life welfare mom who gets pregnant just so that I can live off benefits from the government that I do not deserve.
Who do you think gets women pregnant anyway? As my not-too distant memory recalls, I do not believe that I conceived my babies via immaculate conception. I believe there was a man present. And if there was not, someone call the Pope right immediately.
Perhaps men who call women "sluts" and "prostitutes" should keep both their mouths and their zippers shut before spewing such ignorance and self-righteous banter about issues they know nothing about but can only wish to imagine how a real slut or prostitute would answer.
Oh . . . and one more thing, women vote and we are listening.
In the meantime while angry rhetoric continues so as to distract us from the valid issues of this election cycle, I will continue to teach my own daughters the values of self respect, personal responsibility and moral integrity, as well as how the dangers of ignorance can play out in one's life.
Forgive me now as I must excuse myself to engage in some rather prostitution-like behavior.
Have fun figuring that one out.
Rather, as a woman who was married when I practiced such an ungodly and unforgiving act in your eyes, I am proud to say that I have only the two children that I carefully and methodically planned for, instead of the 25 more or so I might have had while married and had I not been on birth control. Let us just say that I have very fertile genes.
As most modern women, I consider it my responsibility" how I take on the role of my body as I also do my ethics and role as a human being who has the ability and gift to bring life into this world.
And as most women can attest to, the decision to have or not have children is not one that is taken lightly, but rather more likely with heavy emotional, religious, spiritual and financial philosophies and integral arguments attached that are continually debated within the frameworks of our families, culture, communities and society at large.
This may be just one of the most horridly hypocritical arguments and debacles I have ever witnessed as you-- Mr. Limbaugh-- are also thoroughly and immensely against helping aid families and women who can't afford to feed their children, and concurring with former House Speaker and Presidential Hopeless Newt Gingrich who repeatedly calls President Obama "the food stamp president."
Perhaps you would have been happier if I had not used contraception during my marriage, had given birth to ten children, and then proceeded to "go on the dole" . . . then you could happily scream across the airwaves that I am a low-life welfare mom who gets pregnant just so that I can live off benefits from the government that I do not deserve.
Who do you think gets women pregnant anyway? As my not-too distant memory recalls, I do not believe that I conceived my babies via immaculate conception. I believe there was a man present. And if there was not, someone call the Pope right immediately.
Perhaps men who call women "sluts" and "prostitutes" should keep both their mouths and their zippers shut before spewing such ignorance and self-righteous banter about issues they know nothing about but can only wish to imagine how a real slut or prostitute would answer.
Oh . . . and one more thing, women vote and we are listening.
In the meantime while angry rhetoric continues so as to distract us from the valid issues of this election cycle, I will continue to teach my own daughters the values of self respect, personal responsibility and moral integrity, as well as how the dangers of ignorance can play out in one's life.
Forgive me now as I must excuse myself to engage in some rather prostitution-like behavior.
Have fun figuring that one out.
The Jewish Buddha says . . .
If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.
Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.
Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about?
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy.
There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao is not Jewish.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as a wooded glen. And sit up straight. You’ll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.
Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
The Torah says, Love your neighbor as yourself. The Buddha says, There is no self. So … maybe we’re off the hook?
Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish.
Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.
*Source, Anonymous
Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.
Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.
Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about?
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy.
There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao is not Jewish.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as a wooded glen. And sit up straight. You’ll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.
Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
The Torah says, Love your neighbor as yourself. The Buddha says, There is no self. So … maybe we’re off the hook?
Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish.
Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.
*Source, Anonymous
Another Stay-At-Home Overworked, Underpaid and Happy Mom
As a mother who has worked both inside and out of the home, I can say that without a doubt, working outside of the home has felt like a Club Med vacation when compared to staying home with my three daughters.
This is not to say that I have "terrible children" or that I am inept at taking care of my kids; on the contrary, I'm great at it.
And that's why it is hard. For twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, I am there for my children.
I have been through "the terrible twos" , "the troublesome teens" and I have been on call and work tirelessly as a CEO, cook, maid, chauffeur, tutor, doctor, accountant, therapist, personal shopper, coach, referee, advocate . . . and all without a paycheck.
The phrase "Working Mother" is the most redundant phrase that exists in the English Language, and anyone who has ever had a mother or is one knows first-hand exactly what I mean.
When I first heard the statement by a woman who claimed that Ann Romney had "never worked a day in her life" because she stayed home with five boys . . . sadly, I barely flinched.
And why is that? It is because I have heard this sentiment numerous times in the years that I have struggled to make the sacrifices and work that it takes to be a full time stay-at-home mother.
First of all, this is not a Bi-partisan issue on any political front. This is a human issue, a woman's issue and a family issue.
And the fact that it is now being used as a political football shows just how out-of-touch most politicians are with women voters and the concerns and issues we face each and every day.
As a Mother first and Democrat most second, I have heard enquiries and jabs over the years from other mothers who work outside the home including, "What Do You Do All Day?", "When are you Going to Work Again?" and "It Must be Nice to Relax All Day."
My reaction to like-comments has always been to smile, and then answer that I enjoy my fulfillment and career as a stay-at-home mother, and that I wish them the same fulfillment in whatever choice they have made for their own family.
Choice here is the key word. Every woman struggles from financial, emotional and countless struggles as to whether or not she makes the choice to stay home with her children. Furthermore, most women do not have a choice as to whether she will have to work outside the home because she has to financially provide for her family.
While it's all fine for the wives of political candidates to go on National Television and talk about how she has been a working stay-at-home-mother, millions of women who work outside the home wish they had the luxury of staying home, while they continue to struggle financially even though they often have to work two to three jobs to barely make ends meet.
I am the first to admit that I have a daily struggle with my decision to stay at home with my kids as I worry about my children's financial future; whether or not I will be able to afford to send them to college; feel guilt as they do not have some of the material things that are afforded by parents who who both work outside the home; and quite honestly, days where I miss having a full-time career outside of the home with more of a social life.
In other words, this is never an easy decision for any woman, and nothing that anyone should use as a political landline.
While this latest media gaffe is particularly ignorant, the positive is that we are now talking about an issue extremely important to women on both sides of the political aisle, and that politicians are "seemingly" paying attention; whether or not they actually care we will have to wait and see.
This may seem to be the best thing to happen for Republican front runner Mitt Romney, who according to the polls has not had a favorable rating with women who feel he is simply out of touch with their concerns.
But it will take a heck of a lot more than hearing his wife talk about the values of motherhood while she parades her five boys in starched-white shirts-- before women are eager to vote for him. Romney also says that although he is "not against contraception", he wants to do away with Planned Parenthood. Now that's smart.
According to the Republicans, the comment made about Ann Romney is further evidence of the Democrat's "war on women" and that they are clearly not interested in the issues that concern women.
But here is no war on women, and women are not calling for any war, least among them mothers on any political or ideological fronts.
What mothers care about is the following:
We care about the health and mental well being of our children and families
We care about the future of our children, of our parents, of our siblings and of our communities
We care about raising decent, integral, strong and happy children who will one day become responsible citizens and adults
We care about about our children's education, their freedoms and liberties to practice their religions, and about their autonomy to carry out any goal and dream they believe in.
What matters most is that women today are powerful because they are the majority of voters, whether they work outside the home or inside the home.
And whether or not either campaign decides to label issues that women care about as a "War" only proves how much they underestimate the power of women in this country . . .
Powerful because women today are 'not only' the majority of the voters; but make most of the decisions about how to spend family money; where to send their children to school and now begin more businesses and attend more colleges than their male counterparts.
So, whether or not you wish to take into account or even seriously what this stay-at-home mother has to say, here it is . . .
As a lover of children, I believe that what us in their best interest is that we all come together and refuse to ever judge another woman for the difficult choices they choose to make in her life.
And as this working stay-at-home mother can attest to, I am listening and will cast my opinion with both my vote and my wallet.
Now that is work well spent.
Other work well spent will be when I spend time with my daughters tonight just talking about how their day went. These are indeed the priceless moments that a stay-at-home mother enjoys.
And the war on women has no effect or influence upon the four of us.
We are far too busy enjoying being a family. And whether or not any politician ever understands that integral joy is none of our concern.
This is not to say that I have "terrible children" or that I am inept at taking care of my kids; on the contrary, I'm great at it.
And that's why it is hard. For twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, I am there for my children.
I have been through "the terrible twos" , "the troublesome teens" and I have been on call and work tirelessly as a CEO, cook, maid, chauffeur, tutor, doctor, accountant, therapist, personal shopper, coach, referee, advocate . . . and all without a paycheck.
The phrase "Working Mother" is the most redundant phrase that exists in the English Language, and anyone who has ever had a mother or is one knows first-hand exactly what I mean.
When I first heard the statement by a woman who claimed that Ann Romney had "never worked a day in her life" because she stayed home with five boys . . . sadly, I barely flinched.
And why is that? It is because I have heard this sentiment numerous times in the years that I have struggled to make the sacrifices and work that it takes to be a full time stay-at-home mother.
First of all, this is not a Bi-partisan issue on any political front. This is a human issue, a woman's issue and a family issue.
And the fact that it is now being used as a political football shows just how out-of-touch most politicians are with women voters and the concerns and issues we face each and every day.
As a Mother first and Democrat most second, I have heard enquiries and jabs over the years from other mothers who work outside the home including, "What Do You Do All Day?", "When are you Going to Work Again?" and "It Must be Nice to Relax All Day."
My reaction to like-comments has always been to smile, and then answer that I enjoy my fulfillment and career as a stay-at-home mother, and that I wish them the same fulfillment in whatever choice they have made for their own family.
Choice here is the key word. Every woman struggles from financial, emotional and countless struggles as to whether or not she makes the choice to stay home with her children. Furthermore, most women do not have a choice as to whether she will have to work outside the home because she has to financially provide for her family.
While it's all fine for the wives of political candidates to go on National Television and talk about how she has been a working stay-at-home-mother, millions of women who work outside the home wish they had the luxury of staying home, while they continue to struggle financially even though they often have to work two to three jobs to barely make ends meet.
I am the first to admit that I have a daily struggle with my decision to stay at home with my kids as I worry about my children's financial future; whether or not I will be able to afford to send them to college; feel guilt as they do not have some of the material things that are afforded by parents who who both work outside the home; and quite honestly, days where I miss having a full-time career outside of the home with more of a social life.
In other words, this is never an easy decision for any woman, and nothing that anyone should use as a political landline.
While this latest media gaffe is particularly ignorant, the positive is that we are now talking about an issue extremely important to women on both sides of the political aisle, and that politicians are "seemingly" paying attention; whether or not they actually care we will have to wait and see.
This may seem to be the best thing to happen for Republican front runner Mitt Romney, who according to the polls has not had a favorable rating with women who feel he is simply out of touch with their concerns.
But it will take a heck of a lot more than hearing his wife talk about the values of motherhood while she parades her five boys in starched-white shirts-- before women are eager to vote for him. Romney also says that although he is "not against contraception", he wants to do away with Planned Parenthood. Now that's smart.
According to the Republicans, the comment made about Ann Romney is further evidence of the Democrat's "war on women" and that they are clearly not interested in the issues that concern women.
But here is no war on women, and women are not calling for any war, least among them mothers on any political or ideological fronts.
What mothers care about is the following:
We care about the health and mental well being of our children and families
We care about the future of our children, of our parents, of our siblings and of our communities
We care about raising decent, integral, strong and happy children who will one day become responsible citizens and adults
We care about about our children's education, their freedoms and liberties to practice their religions, and about their autonomy to carry out any goal and dream they believe in.
What matters most is that women today are powerful because they are the majority of voters, whether they work outside the home or inside the home.
And whether or not either campaign decides to label issues that women care about as a "War" only proves how much they underestimate the power of women in this country . . .
Powerful because women today are 'not only' the majority of the voters; but make most of the decisions about how to spend family money; where to send their children to school and now begin more businesses and attend more colleges than their male counterparts.
So, whether or not you wish to take into account or even seriously what this stay-at-home mother has to say, here it is . . .
As a lover of children, I believe that what us in their best interest is that we all come together and refuse to ever judge another woman for the difficult choices they choose to make in her life.
And as this working stay-at-home mother can attest to, I am listening and will cast my opinion with both my vote and my wallet.
Now that is work well spent.
Other work well spent will be when I spend time with my daughters tonight just talking about how their day went. These are indeed the priceless moments that a stay-at-home mother enjoys.
And the war on women has no effect or influence upon the four of us.
We are far too busy enjoying being a family. And whether or not any politician ever understands that integral joy is none of our concern.
Smile at Yourself today, Just for the Heck of it
When I was two, I believed that anything was possible and that everyone I met was a bit of new magic in my life
My father said I always introduced myself to strangers and said, "How do you do today?" and then offer to sing them a show tune
I asked to sit on the laps of my parent's friends at dinner parties and wanted to know everything about them
Okay, I guess you could have safely called me a nudge as a child
In stark contrast, today, as a journalist and mother, I see much too clearly the ugliness and evil that plagues our world
But as a parent and a human being, I choose each day to also notice what is beautiful and "child-like", not just for the sake of my own children, bit for myself as well
Certainly, top stories on the news that include the Trevon Martin case, a massacre at a California College yesterday, and the everyday stories about bullying and bloodshed across the globe overwhelm me
But as parents and people, we also need to focus on what it good about ourselves and the world as well . . .
And not pass on to the next generation only feelings of apathy and cynicism
Smile at yourself today, at your friends and at a child, just for the heck of it
We all deserve at least that . . . and more.
My father said I always introduced myself to strangers and said, "How do you do today?" and then offer to sing them a show tune
I asked to sit on the laps of my parent's friends at dinner parties and wanted to know everything about them
Okay, I guess you could have safely called me a nudge as a child
In stark contrast, today, as a journalist and mother, I see much too clearly the ugliness and evil that plagues our world
But as a parent and a human being, I choose each day to also notice what is beautiful and "child-like", not just for the sake of my own children, bit for myself as well
Certainly, top stories on the news that include the Trevon Martin case, a massacre at a California College yesterday, and the everyday stories about bullying and bloodshed across the globe overwhelm me
But as parents and people, we also need to focus on what it good about ourselves and the world as well . . .
And not pass on to the next generation only feelings of apathy and cynicism
Smile at yourself today, at your friends and at a child, just for the heck of it
We all deserve at least that . . . and more.
The Homeless deserve a Drink on Me . . . and it's Not My Business
A handicapped, homeless, elderly man I often see outside a 7-11 asked me for a dollar so I gave him $5.00. A woman said to me "You shouldn't give him any money, he's just going to buy booze with it." I thought about it and then told her that it's his business what he chooses to spend the money on.
If anyone deserves a drink now and then on me, it's a poor old guy who is down on his luck. Think about if it were your father or grandfather. For God's sake, being homeless doesn't mean you don't deserve to make your "own" choices. Whether he chooses to buy a sandwich or a beer . . . it's not my business.
And this is not to say that I support giving money to alcoholics or addicts, but simply that this poor soul happened to ask me for money and I just couldn't say "No" today when I looked back into his teared-filled eyes.
This is not a political issue but a human one.
He is human and so am I and so are you.
Once in awhile, how about talking to someone in need instead of trying to get the heck out of dodge? How about noticing that homeless people were once people like us?
Martin Luther King once said,"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
My daughter asked me if she could give him some of her own money next time.
I answered, "Sure sweetie, and a drawing would be nice too."
If anyone deserves a drink now and then on me, it's a poor old guy who is down on his luck. Think about if it were your father or grandfather. For God's sake, being homeless doesn't mean you don't deserve to make your "own" choices. Whether he chooses to buy a sandwich or a beer . . . it's not my business.
And this is not to say that I support giving money to alcoholics or addicts, but simply that this poor soul happened to ask me for money and I just couldn't say "No" today when I looked back into his teared-filled eyes.
This is not a political issue but a human one.
He is human and so am I and so are you.
Once in awhile, how about talking to someone in need instead of trying to get the heck out of dodge? How about noticing that homeless people were once people like us?
Martin Luther King once said,"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
My daughter asked me if she could give him some of her own money next time.
I answered, "Sure sweetie, and a drawing would be nice too."
Politically Incorrect Passover with Jews, Muslims and a Leopard skin Berka
Tonight I'm going to my Jewish boyfriend's mother's house for Passover in Los Angeles. Attending will be Muslims, Christians, Agnostics, Jews, Catholics and me, a half Japanese-Jew with a little Irish and Scotch thrown in for levity.
What a party this will be! Talk about politically incorrect multi-faith and multiculturalism at its most extreme. Just trying to figure out my wardrobe now and considering two outfits. The first, a leopard skin mini-skirt berka, and the second, a see-through kimono with underwear that lists the ten commandments with some imitation peyos in my hair.
Hopefully, I won't drink too much manischewitz or stuff myself full of too much matzah brei. I just hope I'm the one who finds the Afikomen, anything with "men" in it makes this half Shikseh a same'akh girl. Oy!
What a party this will be! Talk about politically incorrect multi-faith and multiculturalism at its most extreme. Just trying to figure out my wardrobe now and considering two outfits. The first, a leopard skin mini-skirt berka, and the second, a see-through kimono with underwear that lists the ten commandments with some imitation peyos in my hair.
Hopefully, I won't drink too much manischewitz or stuff myself full of too much matzah brei. I just hope I'm the one who finds the Afikomen, anything with "men" in it makes this half Shikseh a same'akh girl. Oy!
To Love is to Suffer
Woody Allen . . . . “To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness."
Whatever Happened to Simple Civility?
I think that if we all stopped for a few minutes and just thought, "Okay, what's really going on with another person" and spend real time just listening rather than waiting to say what is on our own minds . . . then maybe-- just maybe, we could all come to a few peaceful and amicable solutions.
The real problem is just being able to stop all of the noise in our own heads, from social media and from people who claim to know what is best for all us while they bicker, name call and set-partsian agendas often aimed to distract us from the important issues. Whatever happened to "How are you today?" . . . "Can I lend you a hand?" and "Let me think about that and get back to you . . ."
Ahhhh . . . the days of manners, civility, decency and intelligent discourse . . . those were the days my friends. Indeed Indeed.
The real problem is just being able to stop all of the noise in our own heads, from social media and from people who claim to know what is best for all us while they bicker, name call and set-partsian agendas often aimed to distract us from the important issues. Whatever happened to "How are you today?" . . . "Can I lend you a hand?" and "Let me think about that and get back to you . . ."
Ahhhh . . . the days of manners, civility, decency and intelligent discourse . . . those were the days my friends. Indeed Indeed.
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