Who is Jewish?

Are Jews a race, a culture, a religion, or an ambiguous and philosophical blend of all three? As a Japanese-Jew who grew up in an all Jewish neighborhood in Los Angeles, I was never accepted as a member of the tribe as my mother is not Jewish. But what isn't what Jews want most is to have their ethnic and religious identity as autonomous and accepting, and has that not been their own historical struggle as a people? You tell me.

Father's Matter

Gloria Steinem said, "Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father." This Father's Day, let us celebrate the truly unique and special brand of parenting our fathers gave us, and be grateful we had men in our lives. My father is a great listener and thinker, and funny as heck. What did and does your father mean to you?

My Father' Gift

My fondest memories as a child with my father were when we would just be together for hours on end in a space together, and feel perfectly at peace and ease, without talking or having to interact. I spent years in his art studio while he painted, and I drew, read and wrote short stories. This was the magic of my childhood. His gift to me.

Dumbed Down by Weiners?

I could care less about whether Wiener has offered condom-mints to insert into some women's buns via tweets. I have no time for celebrity gossip and who needs rehab for sex, drugs and narcissism. I have had up to my gazumbas with Tea Party antics by Decaf and overly-Caffeinated politicians who distract us from what really matters. Don't allow yourself to be dumbed down by the media elite or the ignorantly indiscreet.

I am "Lox Beauty of the Month"

The only Jewish-American princess experience I ever came close to was when an owner of a Jewish Deli in Los Angeles wanted to make me "Lox Beauty of the Month", promising me an all-lox banner I would wear as a shirt. Not so appealing.
And the only Japanese-American princess memory was when an elderly Japanese business man asked me to be his "Princess for a Day" at an airport when he showed me a $100 bill in a strange pocket when I was 13. You see? Not so many laughs.

Confused Japanese Jew

Let's just say while my Jewish father taught us that Jesus was a "suffering" member of our tribe we were was not supposed to worship; my Japanese mother regularly quoted Buddha, "Life as we know it ultimately leads to suffering." You see, I couldn't win.

Dreaming about Palin's Bathing Suit

Donald Trump and Sarah Palin visited me in a dream last night. We were all wearing enormous hair nets and skimpy patriotic bathing suits babbling about whether or not black tea should be the Republican Tea Party's mascot. Thankfully I woke up right when "The Donald" invited Palin to travel to Russia, her Alaskan neighbor to kill and eat a mother moose. Oy gevalt!

Pro Choice for Other Women's Choices

I believe women have a right to their own choices as to their bodies, career and family and that many women are the most critical of other women, simply because they make choices they disagree with. A woman who gives up her career and stays home with her children is not "turning back the clock" for women. Rather, she is moving the clock in a forward direction by taking responsibility for her own children.

Where is Osama's Death Certificate?

I am just waiting for "The Donald" to demand a copy of Osama Bin Laden's Death certificate. All's fair in love and war after all Mr. Trump. If a "Live" sitting president of our fair country was doubted for his place of birth, why is a dead leader from an unfair regime not doubted and now made to show his proof of death? Ahhh, come on Trump Ol' Boy, keep it consistent, if nothing at all.

A Trump-Palin Ticket

I can just see it now, a Trump-Palin ticket with attacks on Obama's intelligence and follow-through. I suppose their cohorts of Meatloaf, Gary Busey, Levy and Palin's Russian neighbors prove they know intelligence. God knows, what we need is to become more distracted by cartoon characters as we watch them laugh all the way to the bank, leading us to a form of moral bankruptcy we will never recover from. You betcha:)

Paparazzi Elections in 2012

If it's not already obvious to y'all, we are in for a 'Wild Old West Ride' and Paparazzi-driven media circus during our next presidential elections. Let's just hope that we don't embarrass ourselves right out of our own britches while the whole world is watching. We have not worked this hard and for this long to sell our country's integrity as a whore for "simpleton" high ratings and reality television.

Hot for Older Jewish Comedians

Am I the only woman who thinks older Jewish comedians are hot? Who needs Charlie Sheen and Brad Pitt when you can have Larry David and Richard Lewis? Ok, they are young when compared to comics I used to stalk as in Mel Brooks and Woody Allen, who wouldn't have me. I have decided to start volunteering at the Jewish Home for the Aged. Perhaps I can at least change a bed for a Borsht Belt original. Vai is Mir!

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Jewish and Japanese families both Have the Flu

Two close relatives, one Japanese and one Jewish have the flu. My Jew calls me ten times a day, swears he is dying of a brain tumor and made me call his Trust attorney. My Jap told me he is fine, even though he has a 105 degree temperature, can't see or walk, and has now disconnected his phone as he doesn't want to cause shame to his family or ruin their day should he die. I don't know whether to call my Rabbi or call upon my hari-kari sword that is tucked under my mini skirt. Oy Veh-Herapu!

A Childhood without Stuff

I grew up in a family of six and my siblings and I shared one Schwinn bicycle. We played with our friends outside until dusk when dinner was ready. We ate together at the family table. There was one black and white t.v. in the living room. There were no computers, VCR's, or cell phones. But we didn't "want" for anything, only that we would keep what we already had. What do you treasure about childhood?





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