I've Got Issues . . . with Francesca Biller

A uniquely thought-provoking place for Satire, Commentary and Comedy

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I am not the Terminator's Mama Baby

I swear it wasn't me, I don't care how many rumors you hear- I am NOT the mother of Arnold's love child! Ten years ago I was too busy trying to be the love mother of any child of Charlie Sheen or Osama bin Hefner. And I would also never betray Maria Shriver Kennedy, although I would have had an affair with her. That would have made me a bisexual having relations with someone in a bipartisan marriage. Not so shabby.

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Francesca Biller

"I would never want to belong to any club that would have me as a member," Groucho Marx

Slideshow

About Me

Francesca Biller

Official Website:

www.francescabiller.com

Work:

The Huffington Post www.huffingtonpost.com

USA Riseup.com www.usariseup.com

I've Got Issues www.francescabiller.org

Open Salon open.salon.com/blog/checka

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/francescabiller

I am a Japanese-Jewish comedian and award winning investigative journalist for print, radio and television, and yes I have seen a therapist as my parents regularly laughed and pointed at me and my siblings while calling us "Double-Japs." (Book to come out 2012)

The only Jewish-American princess experience I ever came close to was when an owner of a Jewish Deli in Los Angeles wanted to make me "Lox Beauty of the Month", promising me an all-lox banner I would wear as a shirt. Not so appealing.

And the only Japanese-American princess memory was when an elderly Japanese business man in Tokyo asked me to be his "Princess for a Day" at an airport when he showed me a $100 bill in a strange pocket when I was 13. You see? Not so many laughs.

Let's just say while my Jewish father taught us that Jesus was a "suffering" member of our tribe we were was not supposed to worship; my Japanese mother regularly quoted Buddha, "Life as we know it ultimately leads to suffering." You see, I couldn't win.

All kidding or not aside, I describe myself as a political satirist and comedian who writes controversial and and intriguing commentary about popular culture in a way that gets an intellectual rise and laugh from my audience, pun intended, while inspiring them to focus on what I think are the "truly" valid issues of the day.

My greatest influences as a writer include Mark Twain, George Carlin, Woody Allen, The Marx Brothers, Mel Brooks, Monty Python, Lucille Ball, Rodney Dangerfield, Norman Lear and Larry David.

As a journalist and broadcast talent, I have been inspired by Johnny Carson, Barbara Walters, Walter Cronkite, Ted Koppel, Jim Lehrer, Merv Griffin, Dick Cavett, and shows such as Frontline, This Week, Meet the Press and Crossfire.

Articles and commentary I have received a great deal of recognition for include coverage of the following subjects: politics, popular culture, media, homosexual and interracial marriage, the politics of feminism, parenting, Sarah Palin, race, healthcare, the economy, and my autobiographical experience of what it was like to grow up as a being a Japanese-Jew in Los Angeles, which I am currently writing a book of short essays.

My work has been published for The Huffington Post, The Jewish Journal of Los Angeles, Open Salon, USA RiseUp, Interfaithfamily, The Printed Blog, Be'chol Lashon ,The Jewish News Weekly of San Francisco, Bloomberg News, USA Today, Anti-Semitism News, ColorsNW, The Syndicated News, Senses magazine, and many other publications.

Because of my quick-witted coverage of timely news issues, my work is regularly republished and picked up by major online news sites including CNN, The New York Times, The Washington Post, Black Christian News, USA Today, Bloomberg News, and many other publications.

One recent compliment was when Fox News.com quoted me between The New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd and CNN's Jack Cafferty for a piece called 'The Real Problem with Palin's Press Conference." They referred to a Hufffington Post piece I wrote called 'Palin to Marry Moose and Other Intellectual Pursuits' wherein I pretended to be Palin delivering a speech. Sarah Palin's "Official Fan Page" also has my article on their site. Too funny.

Before I became a comedic political writer, I spent years seriously honing my skills as a hard-hitting investigative news journalist reporting for newspapers, magazines and news radio-- covering politics, business, breaking news, documentary style reports and live coverage.

For print and broadcast journalism, I have received the following awards for reporting, writing and producing: The Edward R. Murrow Award, two Golden Mike awards, The Los Angeles Press Club Award, and four First Place Society of Journalism awards; the most recent for a 5,ooo word covers story titled "Race and Gender on Center Stage", which focused on the 2008 Presidential Elections and received First Place for "Best Magazine Political Reporting" by the SPJ.

In the next month I will become the official blogger for USA RiseUp for two Blogs, "Race and Politics" and "Cultural Awareness".

I am also a regular contributor and guest editor for The Printed Blog, as well as author of my own Blog on Open Salon, and for "I've Got Issues". In addition, I write a daily interactive blog on my Facebook that receives a great deal of traffic and stirs up a lot of heated political debates.

Books I am writing:

Historical novel about the 442nd Infantry, the most highly decorated battalion in United States history, and comprised 100 percent by Japanese-Americans.

While Japanese on the mainland states were interned after Japan's attack on Pearl Harbor, those in Hawaii were not as it was considered "economically unfeasible" as three quarters of the population were Japanese at the time.

My mother was a young girl in Hawaii when she witnessed her two brothers and many other Japanese young men in her community enlist in the 442nd. With the help of other women in the community, my mother, sister and grandmother managed to maintain the family's coffee bean farm and other businesses during the war for the hopeful and safe return of soldiers from her community, as women have historically done during periods of war.

As Japanese culture by nature does not believe in bragging or focusing on the past, this is a part of U.S. history that is largely unknown by many Americans. My uncles returned to Hawaii with Bronze Hearts and Purple Stars awarded for their bravery and service.

As thousands of World War II Veterans die each day, along with their personal stories only they can relay, it is an inherently timely and historically as well as socially relevant book.

The novel will include historical scenarios, first-hand stories, anecdotes and photos from soldiers and their families both from the battlefronts in Europe and from Hawaii. I am building multi-dimensional characters from real people I am interviewing who endured battles both abroad and on the home front.

The second book I am writing is a compilation of short essays about what it was like to grow up as a Japanese Jewish girl in Los Angeles.

While the book will contain humorous essays about having parents who came from two entirely different cultures and religious backgrounds, it will also include thoughtful anecdotes and stories that will explore interracial and interfaith issues.

If interested in reading already published autobiographical work, google my name along with The Huffington Post, Open Salon, The Jewish Journal, The Jewish News Weekly of San Francisco, Interfaithfamily.com, www.francescabiller.com, and helium.

Other projects:

I am working on several other media projects which I will be able to discuss shortly

View my complete profile

Who Am I?

I am a comedian, political satirist and award winning investigative journalist for print, radio and television. What I post here on "I've Got Issues" are small sections from longer articles and published blogs, although some are spontaneous musings about what I think are "issues" worth mentioning. Enjoy. Please also visit my website at: http://www.francescabiller.com/

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